The Pepper Tree

 

They said this was the worst year ever and I didn't believe them. Sure everyone's hopes and dreams in the whole world were being fed through the wood chipper, but I personally was more well off. I got a little bit of time off work for a while there, which allowed me to work on art projects which was nice. And I've been making more money and working less which is great because it means more time to work on art projects. All in all its been a good (although not great) year for me working on art projects.

Certainly the evils of this year outweigh the good, but for me personally it had been a good year.

And then the neighbors across the street cut down the pepper tree. It was probably a couple hundred years old and it had been there my entire life for me. Every time I looked out the window there was an ocean of flowing green as whatever wind there was flowed through it. But some people, like Mordor Orcs, cannot abide beauty, and there is evil encamped against us. Yesterday it was there and today its just plain gone, they didn't even leave the stump. Its like if you lived in a house by the seaside and one day you woke up and found they'd just packed up the ocean and taken it away somewhere and gotten rid of it. And you'd never be able to see or hear or smell the waves coming in anymore. You'd say that was impossible but that's what happened.

So 2020 did turn out to be the worst year ever for me as well. That was December 30^th when they came in there roaring away all day with their chainsaws and chippers like the unholy nuisances they are, and here I am snagged on the tail end of it and pulled down like Gandalf by the Balrog in Mordor, the way 2019 snagged us all on the tail end of it with its bat virus from China.

That got me thinking about giant trees with regard to hopes and dreams and having everything you live for smashed or destroyed. You can't just plant a two hundred year old tree, not unless you get it from somewhere else, they really don't grow up that way from seed.

So that got me thinking about life as an artist. Like a lot of artists I can never be content unless my work becomes the art equivalent of two or three hundred year old tree – no mere sapling with two or three leaves, growing in a little pot, but a vast and spreading sea of beauty – and it saddens me inconsolably to reflect that in this cruel world I will almost certainly be cut down long before that.

Its easy to say that destroying statues is merely a left wing movement and its just liberals that are trying to destroy America so if we could win all the time everything would be fine. But it isn't just liberals who partake in unspeakable acts in the destruction of beauty. I don't know what the actual political leanings are of the neighbors across the street, but it doesn't matter. As they said that tree was “just a liability” its the sort of thing anyone might do who appreciates “the value of hard work” more than the beauty of nature.

I used to think that everyone had a natural built in appreciation of the beauty of nature, but I guess some people have it more than others and some people are just a bunch of Mordor Orcs.

That tree was like a sea of flowing green feathers, and the wind of the world flowed through it, and now I will never see it again until I am reunited with it in heaven. But the sea of life flows on and I can only give the following advice for 2021 and beyond:

Batten down the hatches, and look out for squalls!

Thoughts on the Virus and Stuff

My life is so much better now, I've got all this time off, I can work on projects, its great!  I know its hard out there and people are suffering, but there are some advantages.  Which begs the question, why can't I get time off work and sleep in and laze around and work on my own projects the rest of the time when there isn't a pandemic?  Why can't the world of freedom and opportunity among those of us blessed with 'non-essential' jobs apply to anyone whether there is a virus or not?  Certainly there are some people who don't want time off work, or from various social events, and they have my sympathy, but wouldn't it be amazing if people could take time off when they want to?  It is technically possible but in my personal experiences I find it constantly infringed upon.

I would like to introduce an apparently unrelated subject that is also relevant to what I would like to say.  I am here reminded of one of my lifelong goals which is to build a ruined castle and live in it.  Non ruined castles are wonderful in many ways, but a ruined one would have several advantages as follows:

• It would be crumbling and overgrown, with lush green foliage, and wildflowers, making it beautiful and picturesque.
• I only need part of a tower to live in, and some suggestions of foundations here and there, and it will look like it was part of a much bigger castle back in the day, and maybe even a great big city.  So I can suggest something much greater with less materials, time and effort than a conventional fortress.
•  It may look ruined on the outside, but the interior rooms will actually be quite well furnished and insulated, making it quite as comfortable as anywhere else.

And I could go on, but the point is ruined castles, and all sorts of ruined buildings are beautiful in many ways to a greater degree than their non ruined counterparts.  And yet all too often ruins are associated with disaster and neglect.  Perhaps their inhabitants died long ago of famine or wars or plague.  But my point is that it is possible to construct brand new ruined buildings to enjoy the ruined building aesthetic without the necessity of a disaster in the first place.

For another obvious but excellent example, the zombie apocalypse would have advantages too numerous to mention, such as:

• Not having to pay taxes, rents, healthcare, or student loans.
• Being able to just shoot your enemies in the face instead of being helpless while people are incessantly annoying and insulting.
• Living in a picturesque ruined hideout, of course.
• All sorts of adventure and excitement.
• A sense of purpose in life, from always having the task of killing zombies.
• Lots of wide open spaces and not too many people, (except zombies).

And I could probably go on, but my point is this.  I think disasters have many benefits that we should seek out and not have to wait for them to befall. Of course disasters should be prevented wherever possible and I am not in any way supporting the virus, the destruction of castles, or the rise of the undead scourge, and yet my point still stands.  What these benefits are and how they are to be achieved, I leave as an exercise to the reader.  But I think it an important thing to mention.  And the advantages of trial and hardship are as often mental or spiritual benefits as physical ones, such as discipline, work ethic, honor, and so on.  Yet these things too can be cultivated with peace and gratitude when there are no great trials to be undergone.

So those are my thoughts brought about by this regrettable, (and regretted) pandemic.  I will close with the standard reminder to keep your distance, stay safe, wash your hands and so on.

Thanks for reading,

-Johnpaul